A found poem – Blame Dave Gorman

Peeing in the Wild at Glastonbury

But it’s OK,
because it’s Left-Wing Liberal
Luvvie wee-wee…
it’s not pollution,
it’s fertiliser!

If you pee in the fields
you’ll find that u-rine serious trouble!

It’s like waking
in the middle of the night
and walking
to the other side of a small town
in your undies
to go to the loo

Wouldn’t go to Glastonbury
if you paid me.

The very thought of the toilets
makes me feel ill

All those chicken vindaloos
and burgers….
doesn’t bear thinking about

Not to mention all those
recreational substances

You might as well tell them to
tidy their rooms

Or even think
for themselves


I hope the men put the lid down
as well
when they have finished.

There are no lids,
just seats if you’re
It’s the people,
not the toilets fault

Why does it have to be blokes
made out
to be the culprits

Because you have worse
hygiene and dirtier habits

How do you know?

Are you the official pee smeller?

This is not the worst scenario…..

Disgusting drunken,
drug fuelled humans

You seem a lot of fun,
old fart

The headliners next year
to be the poo fighters.

and before you red arrow me –
I play four musical instruments
and drink beer !

Pee off

You’re wasting your breath

© peterspoetry

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